BrokenHeartsCollide

You say hello. You laugh and joke and agree and know. Then you blame and mess up and joke. Then you laugh some more, and I am lost. Then you walk away for another month and come back later to tell me it is my fault you are all messed up. You say its my fault you hang out with the wrong crowd, and have the wrong boyfriends. I say nothing, because I don't want to make it worse. You are changing, in ways I hoped I never would see. You are changing, and I just want you to ignore me for forever, please.

I needed more than this chaste existence I had boxed myself into. I ached for touch, for hands on my skin that were rougher than my own, and a mouth against mine. I wanted to experience more than I even knew how to dream about. Dreams. They had gotten more explicit lately, even painfully so. Sometimes, like tonight, I knew they were coming, and avoided sleep altogether. How could my subconscious pull me into such crazed images of flesh and skin and thirst? These pathetic lips had never even been kissed; how could I want what I'd never had so badly? I wanted to be someone else, someone bold: someone who didn't reek of inexperience and need,

Time passes. I barely notice. Deadlines come and go. They don't matter. Things get lost, things I cherish. And here I am. Time passes. I barely notice. Anger comes and goes. Just like you do. Sadness comes, but rarely leaves. I wish you would replace it. Time passes. And passes. But I remain. As do you. But not together. Never together. Time passes. I barely notice.